Infidelity...

I woke up this morning the same size, the same tight pants and the same out of breath experience to tying my shoes.  But I will continue to fight the battle with awareness that it took a few years to add the weight back on and it may take more then a day to send it packing.

However, weight is not the main focus of my thoughts today.  At the moment Elizabeth Edwards’ death is weighing heavy on my heart and thoughts.  How did she feel at the thought of John raising her little ones after her death?  Had she reconciled the idea that he would not only raise them, but might possibly end up with the woman that helped ruin their marriage?  Would the mistress move into the home she had so beautifully decorated?  In one’s final days of life, what are their thoughts, fears, priorities?

I remember twelve years ago before my divorce was final, the doctor told me I needed to have some tests run, due to a cancer scare.  The thought of leaving my children with my soon to be ex husband and his then girlfriend filled me with anger, fear, and fight.  Luckily for me the tests were negative, but would I have spent the remainder of my days in panic and resentment, or would I have been able to enjoy each of those valuable days with my precious children.

I do not know Elizabeth Edwards, but from what I have seen, heard and read, she lived her life with fullness, grace and love.  It seemed that even having her world turn upside down and the public humility of infidelity she still held her head up high.  For those of us who have been dealt that personal blow, there is a sisterhood, respect and unspoken kinship.  Today, I pray that I too may live whatever days I have left with grace and dignity, love and kindness and forgiveness to those who have cheated, betrayed and wounded my trust and heart.